Why Women Friends Are Amazing And Necessary
One my best friends told me recently, “I’ve never had such a great group of girl friends before. We’re never in some weird competition to be better than each other. There’s never a competition of who looks the prettiest tonight.”
I took a minute to think on this. Oh my gosh, she’s totally right. I remember getting ready for parties in high school and college and we were always peaking into each other’s rooms and closets to see what everyone was wearing. Who was going to look the best that night? Who was dressing the sluttiest? There was a weird air of rivalry among my groups of female friends.
Now surrounded with a great group of girl friends, I can’t believe I forgot that feeling of competition that was basically a way of life in college and high school. And it’s not to say that I’m not still friends with those girls – I am – there’s just a different dynamic between my women friends I met later on in life.
When you’re making friends in your adult life, you’re actually meeting people as a more fully formed person. You are friends truly because of the person you are today. Your friendship isn’t defined by years of history with this person or tainted by a memory of who you used to be in high school. There are no prior conceptions to who you are.
You become friends because you are compatible now – not because you were once upon a time. And as an adult (even if you’re still trying to figure your shit out), you’re probably more secure with yourself. You have loved and lost, worked jobs you couldn’t stand, and now probably have a more specific idea of what you want and need out of life, love, and relationships. You understand what serves you.
So now, you no longer need validation from your friends – what you need is genuine support and encouragement. You don’t want to be friends with people you feel the need to compare yourself to or who compare themselves to you.
You start choosing female friends who don’t feel the need to “beat you” for their own personal security but who are comfortable with who they are. And this eliminates the “I need to look the best out of my friends” factor. That’s a thing of the past that you can most definitely live without. You’ll find yourself making more genuine, quality friendships. You begin investing in friends who invest in you.
The female friendships you make later on in life are a real special bond. Full of love, support, and maturity.