Ways To Deal With Your Anger
I don’t like feeling angry. I don’t think anyone does. It clouds your judgment. You make poor decisions. It’s hard to communicate your point of view. I am an emotional person and sometimes I find it difficult to deal with my anger and express my point successfully. So here are some techniques that I’ve developed to handle my anger. Hope they help you as well!
Choose Your Battles
Sometimes when a person is very dense, they can enrage you. I like to think that I know when to save my energy. Usually I “take the high road” when someone is genuinely insulting me. And I have concluded from life experience that if someone is randomly and blatantly insulting you, it usually isn’t warranted. It’s an emotional response because they are defensive or angry. Those instances I choose to let it go because it stems from their own insecurity.
Take a Second to Breathe
Sometimes I find myself so angry that I cannot express myself accurately as I said before. This is often cured by a moment of silence. I just take a second or two or five to really analyze what I am feeling and what I want to express to another person. I will actually say to someone, “Wait let me take a second to figure out exactly what I want to say” or literally “Let me think for a second before a speak.” A pause like that allows time for the other person to reflect as well.
Don’t Act Too Quickly
Don’t make any spontaneous decisions in anger. Don’t send a passive aggressive email to your boss that you’re just going cringe at when you read it again tomorrow. Many things we regret doing or saying, we do and say out of anger. A professor once told me to wait a day before sending an email when you are angry. You probably won’t be thinking clearly. So let your emotions settle.
Trying to cool down? Do something physical. I have legit the best work outs when I’m angry. Physical exertion gets rid of those icky angry feelings. Or at the very least tires you out so you don’t dwell on them and overthink yourself to death.
If you still can’t find a way to express yourself or can’t figure out a way to let it go, I find that it’s best to just have a civilized confrontation with whomever you’re angry with. And do this after you have had time to collect your thoughts. If you demand to be heard I think most people will give you the courtesy of listening. I can’t say whether or not they will understand your perspective but you will find closure so you can begin to let it go.