Growing Up and Letting Go
I can say with absolute certainty that I have changed a million ways since I graduated college. My priorities changed. My career aspirations consume my daydreams. After some grown up heartbreaks, I had a master class in emotional maturity. I developed into a stronger woman. It saddens me to say that some relationships don’t fit in my life anymore. You notice that some friends who always were there for you in school aren’t really there for you in the real world. You discover that maybe at one time a relationship was very healthy but now someone has changed and it’s not anymore.
This is a very touchy topic for me and a lot of others. I come from a place where I have always had a lot of friends in my life and as I grew up a lot of male attention. Therefore I’ve collected a big group of friends and acquaintances. But just because I meet people in my travels and endeavors doesn’t mean they should stay in my life forever. And I’m a very sentimental person. I get nostalgic very easy and tend to always remember the good times. But the good times don’t negate the bad ones.
I’ve come to learn (and really am still learning) that if someone isn’t making a positive impact in my life, they shouldn’t be in my life. I shouldn’t have to beg someone to make plans with me. It should never be a hardship to hang out with one of your friends.
On the flip side, no one should be begging to hang out with you. If you find yourself dreading hanging out with someone or canceling plans a lot, maybe they don’t need to be in your life. And I know that sounds totally harsh and I feel guilty even saying it. But the reason your gut doesn’t want to see this person is probably because you outgrew them. They are no longer adding anything of value to your life.
People change. Not always for worse or for better, but just in general. They want different things. The things that used to excite you maybe don’t anymore. And not to say this is a good or bad thing, it’s just something that happens. And maybe you and your friend aren’t excited by the same things anymore. Or you simply live different lifestyles now. It’s really hard to accept sometimes that people who have been in your life for a long time don’t relate to you anymore. It makes me sad. But sometimes slowly letting go of someone is the best course of action. You can drive yourself crazy trying to force a relationship that’s not there. Sometimes you have to be brave and let go of the things and people you don’t need in order to improve your quality of life. It’s a harsh truth that I am struggling to learn myself.