Don’t Friendzone Yourself

Hey, lovely ladies, do you ever find yourself in situations with boys/girls/people you like that kind of fizzle out? You may have had a drunken hookup and a week of hardcore flirting and then things just cool down, kind of out of nowhere? Different than ghosting. They don’t disappear. Things just kind of cool off.

Zoe .gif

And you may jump to the conclusion that the person just isn’t interested in you anymore. You’ve been friendzoned. But it’s my hypothesis that the freindzone works two ways. It’s very possible that you friendzoned yourself. You took yourself out of the game.

I’ve seen many of my friends do this and I just can’t stay quiet about this any longer. Women are missing out on too many opportunities in this department because of this problem.

Unfortunately, women get the bad rep of being “dramatic” and I think we make some sort of effort to play it cool when we start dating someone. And I’m not saying that we’re not dramatic as women. Women are obviously more emotional than men. And I do know some truly dramatic people – women and men. But I would bet that most of you are just a normal amount of dramatic. You’re actually probably laid back.

 Gif taken from tenor

Gif taken from tenor

I was recently telling a close friend of mine that she tries to play it so cool that it almost sounds like she’s not interested anymore. And things just kind of fizzle. Men, who notoriously fear rejection, can take your “too cool for school” attitude and interpret that as non-interest. Leaving you both as just friends. Friendzoned.

It’s not a crime or a faux pas to show interest in someone. If you’re playing hard to get too hard, no one is going to get any! We have somehow ended up in this culture where it isn’t “cool” to show your feelings. And the power lies with the person who cares the least. Well my personal opinion is that it’s bullshit.

Nothing good happens in life without risk and putting in the work. Career or personal success. Rarely things just fall into our laps. At least not in my experience. So take the chance, make the move. Send a sexy text. Don’t just take a back seat in fear of looking stupid or too invested. What’s the worst that can happen? You get turned down? It’s worth risking the ego hit for someone you find worth pursuing. Let’s own ourselves, ladies, and ask for what we want.