Are We All Rushing Into Sex Too Soon?
Hey, guys, so I was talking to my good friend about emotions and dating (you know, the usual) and I just had this genuine revelation that it’s impossible to really get to know someone while you’re having sex with them.
And then I’m like: Wait a minute, isn’t this what my mom told me when I was literally 16 years old? And it’s like did this actually take me 10 years to grasp.
I’m sorry but did everyone always know this or is this only a shock to me? This shocking revelation came to me when a group of my friends were dissecting a friend’s most recent dating drama.
But how often do we all, men and women alike, find ourselves in this same situation? The situation of everything being fine and going smoothly but then you start sleeping together and things get less clear. Someone always gets scared of the thought of potential commitment. Or someone starts playing hard to get out of nowhere in effort to not look needy.
Somewhere down the line, usually when we start having sex, I guess we become uncomfortable with something and don’t have the ability to express that to each other yet. We don’t know each other well enough to be comfortable with vulnerable communication yet. And if we keep throwing sex into the mix before we reach that point, then we will keep arriving at the same standstill of not knowing how to proceed with each other.
And this leaves us with text messages left unanswered and a potential romantic connection or even a friendship fizzling out. And it happens again and again.
And sex is important, don’t get me wrong. Sexual compatibility is super important and is most definitely a priority – at least for me. But don’t you think we’d have a better chance at having a successful and passionate sex life if we really knew how to communicate with each other.
Communication comes from understanding another person’s perspective and offering your own. And how can we begin to understand each other if we don’t spend enough time getting to know each other?
So like are we rushing sex? Even waiting a month seems like a long time to wait but the more I think on it maybe we would be having better sex if we spent more time getting to know the person. God, I sound like my mother.